Wagon Wheel-Chili Skillet [What's Cooking: Festive '12]

Ok, I had to make a substitution with this recipe from Kraft's 2012 What's Cooking edition, and while it makes no difference in terms of how the recipe comes together, it does make the name of the recipe moot. Let's just pretend the "wagon wheel" refers to the "quasi-western" flavours, and not for the pasta shape.

Cookbook Recipe:

Yeah, ground beef costs that much here.

Ingredients:

• 1 lb (450g) extra lean ground beef
• 1 onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 green pepper, chopped (they didn't specify what kind, so I went for an Anaheim)
• 1 cup frozen corn
• 1 cup salsa (again, they didn't specify heat level, so I went for my default - hot)
• 1 tbsp chili powder
• 3 cups wagon wheel pasta, uncooked (I genuinely could not find wagon wheel pasta. I haven't seen it in grocery stores anywhere in years - so I went with penne because it's still thick and shaped pasta)
• 1/4 cup Cheez Whiz Jalapeno Tex Mex Cheese Spread (the mandatory branded ingredient here, but at least it's a unique one.)

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Cook the pasta as directed, but without salt.

2. Brown the meat, onions, and garlic in a large skillet on medium.

3. Stir in the pepper (the recipe says "peppers" but there's only one?), corn, salsa, and chili powder. Bring to a boil, cover, simmer on medium-low for 10 mins, stirring occasionally.

I don't think it's actually legal to call Cheez Whiz "cheese" in Canada.

4. Remove from heat, stir in the Cheez Whiz (which is laughably called "cheese" in the recipe) until melted. Stir in the pasta.

The Outcome:

This is definitely pretty good - it's warm and filling, very hearty for the winter. However, it feels like it's missing something, something to make it really zing. It's not very spicy, despite using hot salsa (the recipe is specifically meant for the larger Canadian market, so that's not surprising). I should have grabbed a Serrano for my "green pepper". I can't really put my finger on what this recipe needs - something to offset the very slight cloying touch of Cheez Whiz. It's still pretty tasty, though, and it seems like the kind of thing that would go down really well at a potluck or with children.

Fillet of Pork with Banana [Cooking For One]

Let's finish off the very weird Cooking For One with a really messed up recipe. This is the first recipe I've had to modify for my own personal safety. This condenses all the weirdness of this cookbook into one recipe: weird flavour combos, excessive microwave use (to cook meat even!), and somehow despite it all tasting bland.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 small onion, sliced
• 1 tsp butter
• 5 oz (142g) fillet of pork
• 1/2 small banana
• salt and fresh ground black pepper
• 1 apple
• 2 tsp peanut butter
• 1-2 tbsp creme fraiche
• 1 tsp flaked almonds

Following the recipe exactly:

Say no more, say no more!

1. Put the onion and butter in a microwaveable dish and microwave on HIGH for 2 minutes (all microwave settings are on HIGH here). Cut a pocket in the pork and insert the banana (oo er!).

2. Season the pork and place in the microwaveable dish and spoon some of the onion on top. Peel and slice the apple and cover the pork with apple slices. Cover and microwave for five minutes.

3. In a bowl, mix the peanut butter and creme fresh and spread it over the pork. Top with the almonds and microwave uncovered for 3-4 minutes.

Mmmm trichinosis

4.  The recipe ends here, but you will now notice that the pork is still raw inside. I had to nuke the pork for an extra 4 minutes to cook it all the way through. I figure personal safety is work breaking my "no changes" rule.

The Outcome:

Just no.

This is really fucking terrible. I don't even know where to start. First, following the recipe exactly doesn't cook the meat all the way through. Secondly, it's gross - while banana and peanut butter or pork and apples go together, there's too much going on here, so it's a big sloppy grey mess. However, at the same time, it's also bland - the meat is tough and tasteless, as are the onions. The only redeeming quality is that it's now been a few hours and I don't think I have food poisoning.

Cod Curry [Cooking For One]

I figured I'd try another reasonably normal recipe from the Cooking For One cookbook before I burn my house down with the weird microwaved stuff. This looks like a pretty straightforward fish curry recipe, though the option of yogurt vs. canned tomatoes seems like it would produce two very different dishes.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/2 inch piece of cinnamon stick
• 1 bay leaf
• 1/4 tsp ginger paste
• 1/4 tsp garlic paste
• 1/4 tsp chili powder
• 1/4 tsp ground cumin
• 1/4 tsp ground coriander seed
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 3 tbsp plain yogurt or 2 oz canned tomatoes, chopped (this seems very weird as an alternative, it would change the dish's composition and flavour profile dramatically - not in a bad way, just that it would be a pretty different curry)
• 1 small fresh green chili, finely chopped (they didn't specify what kind of green chili so I went for a serrano)
• 1 sprig fresh cilantro, chopped
• 4 oz cod filled, cut into 2 inch pieces (that's only like 113g, so I got the smallest piece of cod in the grocery store for this)
• salt to taste

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Heat the oil in a large saucepan and saute the onion until "golden brown". Add the cinnamon, bay leaf, ginger and garlic pastes, and cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Add the ground spices and stir for another minute. (At this point it's going to be very dry, so keep stirring so nothing burns.)

2. Add in the chili, cilantro, and either the tomatoes or the yogurt - and if you're using yogurt, also add 3 tbsp water.

3. Add the cod and season with salt. Cover and simmer for 15-18 minutes. It does seem dry in the pan, but a sauce does start to form after a bit, but this recipe does seem a bit touch-and-go, I stood ready with a bit of water in case it started burning.

The Outcome:

It's not a bad curry, but it's not amazing. The cod flakes apart at this point and is completely overwhelmed by the spices, so you mainly feel like you're eating an onion curry. The addition of cinnamon is interesting, it adds a bit of complexity, and using a serrano pepper gave it a nice bit of kick (they also didn't make me de-seed the pepper to strip its potency away, thankfully). However, while it's not terrible, it didn't make me go "wow". I wonder if works better with the tomatoes instead of the yogurt?

The Dogg is Home [The Achewood Cookbook]

Time for some more fine dining from the Achewood Cookbook! You know it's going to be fancy when one of the ingredients is a box of Kraft Dinner and the blurb starts with "You can eat hot dogs straight out of the package, everybody knows that". This recipe is pretty tongue in cheek, since it's meant to be in-character - a slightly out of touch "cool" uncle making something for his teenage nephew. Let's just put it lightly...this is not the healthiest or most glamourous recipe.

Cookbook Recipe:

No, I didn't win the giant 24k gold noodle.

Ingredients:

• 3 hot dogs, sliced into nickles and microwaved until hot 
• 1 box Kraft Dinner, prepared (so, you'll also need milk and butter)
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 3 slices cooked bacon, crumbled

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. It takes a bit of dexterity to cook up all the ingredients at once, but I found that putting the pasta from the Kraft Dinner on to boil, then putting the bacon in the pan, then slicing and nuking the hot dogs makes sure everything comes out ready at the same time.

A hot mess.

2. Once the Kraft Dinner is fully prepared (I forgot how orange that powder was), throw in the bacon, hot dogs, and peas and stir until the peas have thawed.

The Outcome: 

Normally I'm not crazy about Kraft Dinner (I'm a bad Canadian, I know) because it comes off as both bland and cloying. This, however, is actually pretty good. It's horrifically unhealthy, total stoner food, and yet it's got enough complexity of flavour and texture from the meats and the peas that it doesn't feel like a trough of cheesy slop. I ate more of this than I should.

Oh, ok. Thanks.

Kale and Potato Soup with Turkey Sausage [Quick from Scratch Chicken, Turkey & Cornish Hens]

The final recipe from Quick from Scratch's poultry cookbook! I finally got a turkey recipe in - this kale, potato, and turkey sausage soup - it's really hard to find turkey outside of Thanksgiving, but I found what I was looking for. I was originally going to do a different turkey sausage recipe, but it included grits, which are almost impossible to find in Canada - they're just not eaten here. But out here is kale country - between the frost-free winters and the general hippiness of Victoria - there's always huge amounts of locally grown kale. This recipe is basically caldo verde, a traditional Portuguese soup, just with turkey sausage instead of Portuguese sausage.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp cooking oil
• 1 lb turkey or chicken sausage (I took the liberty of getting spicy sausage)
• 1 onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, in thin slices
• 1 quart water (I had to look up the conversion, it's about 950mL)
• 2 cups canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock
• 1 1/2 tsp salt (...for the low-sodium broth.)
• 1 1/2 lb "boiling potatoes" (I picked up some nice yellow ones), peeled and cut into 1/4 inch pieces
• Pinch dried red pepper flakes (I made it a generous pinch)
• 1 lb kale, stems removed, leaves shredded (do you know how much one pound of kale is? Just put as much kale as you can into your arms, and then add more on top)
• 1/4 tsp fresh-ground black pepper

I am the Kale Queen.

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. In a large pot, heat the oil over a moderately low heat. Add the sausage and cook, turning, until browned - about 10 minutes. This turned out to be not enough time to cook the sausages completely - they were still raw in the centre. However, they do get boiled later.

Definitely still squidgy on the inside

2. Remove the sausages and let cool. Once you can handle them, cut them into slices. The recipe says to pour off all but 1 tbsp of fat, but these sausages didn't really release any - there was still the original tbsp of oil and that was about it.
 
3. Add the onion to the pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until it's translucent - 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute more. Add the water, broth, and salt and bring the soup to a boil.

A "pinch" of chili flakes

4. Add the sausage, potatoes, pepper flakes, and bring back to a simmer. Cook, partially covered for 2 minutes.

It better boil down, I'm just saying.

5. Add the kale (it DOES boil down!) and bring back to a boil. Simmer, partially covered, until potatoes are cooked, about 6 minutes. Add the black pepper.

The Outcome:

This is probably the first one that looks close to the cookbook picture. It's pretty tasty! The sausages cooked up just fine in the soup, and the flavours are basic but work well. I'm glad I did the not-quite-substitute of using spicy turkey sausage and being generous on my pinch of chili pepper - if I made it again I would probably put 2 tbsp at least of the chilies into the soup - not enough to make it "spicy", but enough to give it a slight zip. It's a pretty hearty and straightforward recipe and makes a ton of soup.

Vietnamese Chicken Salad [Quick From Scratch Chicken, Turkey & Cornish Hens]

What caught my eye with Quick From Scratch's Vietnamese Chicken Salad was the combination of fresh cilantro and mint, plus the inclusion of some reasonably authentic flavours. This is still a westernized recipe (I mean, it's from the 90s), but I think it turned out pretty well.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 1/3 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 4 - I got a value pack and stashed the extras in the freezer)
• 1 cup canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock
• 4 scallions, including green tops, chopped
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 1/4 lbs green cabbage, shredded (I got lucky at the grocery store, there was only one half-head of cabbage and it weighed that amount exactly)
• 3 carrots, grated
• 6 tbsp chopped fresh mint and/or cilantro (the cookbook says you can use one or the other if necessary, but they work great together)
• 1/4 cup lime juice (2 limes worth)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce or fish sauce (I went with soy sauce since it was on hand)
• 4 tsp sugar (that's a lot of sugar)
• 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (that's not a lot of pepper flakes)
• 1/4 cup chopped peanuts

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Cut each breast into five diagonal pieces. In a saucepan, bring the broth, 1/4 of the scallions, and 1/4 tsp salt. Bring to a simmer, add chicken, stir and cover. The recipe says to cook over a low heat for 5 minutes, but I found a medium heat was needed to make sure the chicken cooked. Turn the heat off and let the chicken steam for 5 minutes. I think this step is also to let it cool down for shredding, but it's still scalding hot when it comes out of the pan. Remove the chicken and shred it.

2. In a large bowl, combine the cabbage, carrots, rest of the scallions, chicken, and 4 tbsp of the mint and cilantro.

3. In a small bowl, whisk the lime juice, soy sauce, sugar, pepper flakes, and 1/4 tsp salt. Toss dressing in with salad. Top with the remaining herbs and the peanuts.

The Outcome:

This is pretty good! The flavours come together pretty well, though I think the lime juice comes through a bit sharp, though I have a feeling it will probably gel better after sitting in the fridge for a bit. While it's not a truly authentic Vietnamese recipe, it does have a lot of Vietnamese flavours, especially with the lime, soy sauce, cilantro, and peanuts. The mint adds some interesting depth, and it's generally a pretty healthy salad too. I could see myself making this again, especially for a potluck.

Of course, as always, it could use more chili.

1/4 tsp for the entire salad. Really.

Spicy Chicken Chili [Quick from Scratch Chicken, Turkey & Cornish Hens]

I had originally wanted to make this cookbook's Groundnut Stew recipe but for the life of me couldn't find any okra, fresh or frozen, so I flipped the page and came to their Spicy Chicken Chili recipe. I love spicy food, usually peel-your-face off, but my gut instinct is that a recipe from the 90s isn't going to have any punch to it.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp cooking oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 pound skinless chicken thighs, cut into strips (I got them boneless as well)
• 4 tsp chili powder (this is a pathetic amount of chili powder for a whole pot of chili. If I remake this recipe, it's going to be 4 tbsp)
• 1 tbsp ground cumin
• 2 tsp dried oregano
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 jalapeno pepper, seeds and ribs removed, chopped (another thing I hate - deseeding peppers. It just makes them less spicy. Again, if cooked again, I'd leave the seeds.)
• 1 1/2 cups canned crush tomatoes with their juice
• 2 1/2 cups canned low-sodium chicken broth or homemade stock
• 1 2/3 cups drained and rinsed pinto beans (I had to substitute romano, but they're extremely similar)
• 1 2/3 cups drained and rinsed black beans (both these beans are about the amounts in 443ml/15 oz can, but I could only find the larger cans, so I saved the extras)
• 1/2 tsp fresh ground pepper
• 1/3 cup chopped cilantro 

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. In a large saucepan, heat the oil over moderately low heat. Sautee the onion and garlic until they start to soften, about 3 minutes.

2. Increase heat to medium, add chicken, cook until no longer pink, about 2 minutes.

3. Stir in the chili powder, cumin, oregano, and salt, then the jalapenos, tomatoes, and broth. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover, and simmer for 15 minutes.

4. Stir in beans and pepper, simmer uncovered for another 15 minutes. Top with cilantro.

The Outcome:

Unsurprisingly, this is not spicy. Like, not even a detectable tingle. The other spices are a bit light too, so the tomato flavour is much more dominant than in most chilies. It also has a much soupier consistency. If I was to remake this, I would cut it down to 2 cups of broth, at least an extra tsp or two of cumin, and just go hog wild with the chili powder. It's not bad, it's warm and hearty and easy to make, but it doesn't have zing. I'm going to reheat some of the leftovers later and add some ghost pepper sauce that I have in my fridge - that'll pick it right up!

Cornish Hens with Scallion Butter and Lime [Quick From Scratch Chicken, Turkey & Cornish Hens]

The question about this recipe is: did I fuck up or did the cookbook fuck up? The answer is kinda both, but while this second kitchen-tested recipe from the Quick From Scratch Chicken, Turkey & Cornish Hens cookbook wasn't a smashing success, it wasn't a complete disaster either.

The first problem I had was just getting cornish hens - I made the mistake of looking for them the day after (Canadian) Thanksgiving. Three grocery stores were plum out and the local butcher was closed. I managed to wrangle a pair of birds today, and reasonably successfully defrosted them with cold water. The combination of cumin, oregano, and lime really spoke to me in this recipe - they call it a "typical Mexican combination" in the cookbook, though I don't know if this is strictly a Mexican recipe.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 4 tbsp butter, room temperature (that's a lot of butter.)
• 1 tsp dried oregano
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1/2 tsp salt
• Fresh-ground black pepper
• 2 cornish hens, 1 1/4 lbs approx each, halved
• 1 scallion (green onion) including green top, chopped
• lime wedges

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Heat the oven to 450 F. Combine 2 tbsp of the butter with the oregano, cumin, 1/4 tsp salt, and 1/4 tsp pepper. As in the Russian-Style Chicken Cutlets recipe, I would have preferred softened butter - maybe what counts as "room temperature" for a Canadian who keeps her house cold is a lot colder than this American cookbook thinks.

2. Rub the mixture on the skin of the hens and arrange them skin side up on a baking sheet. This is where two problems became apparent. The first was that the room temperature butter was so thick it sat like lumps on top of the hens and was impossible to rub over them. The second was my own problem - I just moved into a new place and it seems the baking sheets are too big for my new oven. I switched to a pyrex dish, which meant the hens had to sit more like they were whole and upright instead of spread out.

This is after the attempts at rubbing in.

3. The cookbook says to roast them in the upper third of the oven for 20 minutes, but even if they were spread out, that seems way too short. With them folded back together it took more like 45 minutes. I'd go for using a meat thermometer to test for doneness above what the cookbook says.

Even more butter

4. Combine 2 tbsp butter with the scallion, 1/4 tsp salt, 1/8 tsp pepper. Top the roasted hens with the butter and serve with lime.

The Outcome:

I don't know, I had to edit and substitute enough on this recipe that it's hard to nail it down. The combination of the cumin, lime, scallion, and oregano is really tasty - but you do need to baste the hens after the butter has melted or else you'll end up with dobs of concentrated spice. It's the second butter-heavy recipe from this cookbook, and while that much butter is delicious, I'm just two recipes in and already feeling greasy. I think the final verdict is that it was tasty, but it didn't justify the effort and hassle that went into it.