Cheesy Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes [What's Cooking: Festive '12]

The last recipe from Kraft's 2012 Holiday season What's Cooking Magazine is what looks like a reasonably straightforward mashed potato recipe - the catch being that it's meant to be made ahead and then reheated instead of eaten straight out of the pot while being told to leave some for the rest of the guests.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 2 lbs Yukon gold potatoes (about 6)
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup shredded old cheddar cheese (being a branded recipe, they wanted Cracked Barrel but since there's literally no difference, I went for the brand I already had in the fridge)
• 1/4 cup Miracle Whip
• 1 green onion, sliced

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Peel the potatoes and cut into chunks. Boil in a large pot 15-20 minutes, until tender.

2. Mash potatoes, then stir in the milk, cheese, Miracle Whip, and green onion.

3. Refrigerate until ready to serve, then spoon into a microwaveable bowl and microwave on High 5-7 minutes, until heated through, stirring occasionally. (This is presumably for the entire dish).

The Outcome:

I really like mashed potatoes, but I  normally make it with just milk and butter. I tasted this three ways - hot out of the pot, cold from the fridge, and microwaved after cooling as the recipe suggested. Hot out of the pot, the combination of the Miracle Whip and the fresh green onion gave it a flavour similar to potato salad. It was also distinctly smooth and creamy, and generally pretty nice. Eating it cold out of the fridge was, well, cold mashed potatoes. I like cold mashed potatoes. However, reheating it according to the recipe gives you something distinctly different from hot out of the pot - the green onion has lost most of its flavour by then, and the texture turns into something almost too creamy and liquid. It wouldn't be able to hold a gravy pool like this, which is clearly a serious problem when it comes to mashed potatoes!

Spinach Risotto [Cooking For One]

Another weird microwave monstrosity from the Cooking For One cookbook. This "risotto" (aka brown rice with some cheese) is entirely cooked in the microwave for way too long and, well, not to spoil anything, but it tastes like it. I'm just glad this didn't start an electrical fire.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp butter
• 3 oz (85g) brown rice
• 1 small onion, sliced thin
• 1 cup vegetable stock, warmed
• 1/2 oz (14g) walnuts, roughly chopped
• 2 oz (57g) frozen chopped spinach, thawed, or fresh spinach, chopped
• 1/2 oz (14g) grated Parmesan
• fresh ground pepper and sea salt
• 1 tomato, in quarters, as garnish

Following the recipe exactly:

Yum.

1. Find the most microwaveable dish you own, because it's going to see a lot of action. All microwaving is done at HIGH. Melt the butter in the dish by microwaving it 1 minute. Stir in the rice and onion until coated, then microwave for 2 minutes.

Have mercy on me

2. Pour in the stock, partially cover and genuinely microwave it for 30-35 minutes. I kept on waiting for my microwave to short out or explode, since water was running down the inside of the door, but everything survived. Unsurprisingly, the rice around the edges is burnt.

Am I surprised?

3. Stir in the walnuts and spinach and microwave for another 5 minutes. Stir in the cheese and season to taste, garnishing with the tomatoes.

The Outcome:

This sucks. It's half burnt, it made me afraid my kitchen would burn down, and burnt rice bits aside, there's not a lot going on here apart from the Parmesan. I have no idea why they felt the need to use the microwave, this could be cooked in the same time on the stove (and probably would taste better too - you'd get to brown the onion up first). Hell, you cold probably cook an actual risotto in the time it takes to nuke this shitshow.

Toasted Nut Orzo [The Achewood Cookbook]

I'm starting to get a bit leery about the Achewood Cookbook, but at first sight, this recipe looks a bit more sophisticated than the others (it also looks like it's covered in a big stain from the time I spilled something on this cookbook). It starts with an in-character harangue about the quality of olive oil, but the recipe itself looks pretty straightforward and decent.

Cookbook Recipe:

Ingredients:

•  1/2 lb orzo
• 3/4 cup crumbled feta
• 3/4 cup equal parts sliced almonds and crumbled pecans
•  4 scallions, cut into 1 inch pieces
• extra virgin olive oil
• salt

Following the cookbook recipe exactly:

1. Boil up a pot of water for the orzo. While it comes to a boil, place the nuts and green onions in a dry pan on medium-high heat. Let them sit until they start warming through, then flip them every minute until they're fragrant and browned, but not blackened.

Toasty, fragrant, and roughly chopped. Insert joke about "just like my men" here.

2. Remove the onions and nuts and chop roughly.

3. Salt the water and cook the orzo according to the package. When the orzo is cooked, drain and return to the pot.

1/3 cup olive oil is a LOT of olive oil

4. Stir in the nuts and onion mix. Pour in "a couple glugs" of olive oil - the cookbook says at least 1/3 of a cup. Stir the oil in, add the cheese, and stir further. Serve on heated plates.

The Outcome:

I had low hopes after some of the other dishes in this cookbook, but this is pretty good! The nuts add texture and a subtle flavour that goes with the sharp feta. The only catch is that with this much olive oil it gets a bit cloying by the end of it, but it's definitely a nice meal and definitely the best recipe from this cookbook so far.